You knew it was only a matter of time

Linked by Drudge to this awkwardly headlined BBC report:

Doctors' kitchen knives ban call

A&E doctors are calling for a ban on long pointed kitchen knives to reduce deaths from stabbing.

This article has really got some gems:

They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen.

Given the reputation of British cuisine, the finding is perhaps understandable.

In contrast, a pointed long blade pierces the body like "cutting into a ripe melon".

Wait, I thought they didn't have any practical value in the kitchen?! How will we cut our ripe melons?

The study found links between easy access to domestic knives and violent assault are long established.

Might as well say that the link between violent assault and weapons in general is long established. What a shocker.

French laws in the 17th century decreed that the tips of table and street knives be ground smooth.

Oh, well, there we go. That settles it for me. If it's good enough for the French...